Look, listen: it’s time to finally relax and focus on you for once. Episode 223 picks you up gently, and takes all of the guesswork out of blending coffee, which cows to eat and which to milk, getting your cow a cool Neo-Nazi haircut, where to take a date on Valentine’s Day, getting dizzy for fun, allowing children to do dangerous things, selling drugs efficiently, convincing people to give you seafood, paying your debts with kielbasa, liking your job, having sex with animals, using fingerprints other than your own, and getting a warranty.
In Episode 219, you’ll discover new ways to: handle the Governor and his entourage showing up to the bar, explain to your children why robots are writing Christmas songs, buy your dog a new wardrobe with the county’s credit card, use fire and Axe body spray to dodge arrest, make America flammable again, mistakenly refer to CFC’s as CDC’s, use a gun to get the price you want on coffee, deal with fantasies of being taken hostage, use a city bus to make your point, smoke in public, get around loss-prevention officers in box stores, use tech skills to get a job in the criminal underworld, mess with service dogs on the clock, lose a finger, check out a new segment, drink your girlfriend’s blood, and finally step up your local Christmas program to compete with Netflix.
The power of Louis Prima, feeling confident about 218, starting the day early, techniques for finding lost diamonds, wedding ring warranties, buying jewelry locally, Email, a Squatty Potty in real life, Word of the Day, accidentally enabling alcoholism, TFBOTG: Fiat heir kidnaps himself over Thanksgiving, discovering Bread Face Blog, a gang of dudes are heisting guns in Florida, Deep Discounts: red barns and dying stars, HAW: woman burns a strip mall because of poor customer service, shopping carts are maybe expensive, Gift and a Curse: winning the lottery in Canada, and Police Reports!
In Episode 217 you’ll learn the subtle art of: buying a truck, citing your sources, blatant plagiarism, doing second and third Thanksgiving, performing security sweeps at Wal-Mart when you don’t work there, burning things down for social media attention, being a rock star back in the day, stealing other people’s music, wiping your ass as a caveman, getting higher than you’ve ever been and shooting at police, outsourcing your work to China, and the best way to apologize for tasing a woman.
In Episode 216 you’ll discover new and exciting ways to: cook with white pepper, consider other perspectives on Christmas, slash up your neighbor’s above-ground pools, forge a Banksy, spy on Mike Rowe with secret drone tech, punch a lawyer out and bounce, better identify characteristics of a firefighter-arsonist, set your patient’s farts on fire, rob a bank with no weapon, and catch up on local police reports!
But wait! With Episode 216 you aren’t restricted to a mere mp3 rendition of the podcast, now you can take a step inside the Hutch and watch how the WHGL sausage gets made!